Music Helped Save My Life

I was the loner. I was the nerd. I was the one who wasn’t considered cool growing up. And then I discovered I could sing. The keyboard in the background photo is a keyboard my mother purchased for me when I was around 10 years of age. Now, many years later, I still own that keyboard and create songs with it today. The longevity of this keyboard! I didn’t feel I connected with many of my peers in public school. I had many growing pains dealing with my peers. I was teased for wearing my hair natural. I was made fun of for having full lips. I always felt awkward going to public school. I did not fit in. My mother always counseled and mentored me outside of school. She introduced me to Jesus which after developing a personal relationship with the Lord, helped me to be stronger in this world. The promise of salvation and eternal life attracts and comforts me. I’m sticking with Jesus. I would sing. My mother saw my desire to sing and thought purchasing me a keyboard would help me on my singing journey. The keyboard helped me to create my own songs and get me familiar with music theory. At age 15, my mother paid for me to get weekly vocal training from a professional opera singer. I then developed more confidence in my singing abilities and started performing at talent showcases locally and beyond. I would also sing at funerals, church services, weddings and almost anywhere people would let me. I sang at many places in my life. At age 19, I went with a group to the Apollo Theatre Wednesday Amateur Night. I did good in rehearsal but got booed during show time. I looked out into the audience and noticed that a lot of people were not booing me, but actually were listening to my voice. The sandman stood at the side of the stage and didn’t even come out. I gracefully said, “I still love you anyway Apollo, thank you.” I then left the stage. I got to the back of the stage and started crying. A security guy had a talk with me and said some really encouraging words to me. What stood out to me was when he said, “ When I look up, I see you as one of the stars.”

Howard University

After the Apollo Theatre experience, I started singing in my local church choir. I was a choir member for many years. Still performing at talent showcases, I decided to enroll at Howard University as a Music/Business major. I auditioned and was accepted into the Music Department. Along with music I took many business courses. My first desire was to become a communications major, but I already started in music and just continued until graduation. I performed in the Howard University Choir a few times. Howard University changed my perspective on my peers and school. For the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed going to school. There were many different types of people from all over the country and the world attending Howard University. I no longer felt awkward in school. There were other individuals who were more or less like me. But people for the most part were supportive of one another. I am glad to say I am an alumna of Howard University.

The Artists Who’ve Inspired Me

I grew up in the 80s. I was born in 1979. I loved the 80s. I also always studied music from decades prior. My mother was born in 1942 and she introduced me to music from her generation and beyond. So I know a little something about the history of music.

Although I love many different genres of music, I have a special love for R&B music with a blend of funk and soul. Michael Jackson was the first artist I remember watching on television. He was so out of this world to me and I like many people, wanted to be like him. Janet Jackson is like the female version of Michael Jackson. Truly she has her own style and image. I was just as fascinated with Janet Jackson as I was her brother. She has this shyness and softness about her that I love. It in no way speaks weakness. She is a strong black woman whom I’ve always admired because of her positivity and realness.

Prince is another artist who the more I’ve learned about, the more I loved. I learned about his perseverance as an artist. His challenges starting out to where people didn’t understand or respect him and his music. But he fought to continue as himself. He believed in himself and didn’t stop music because some people didn’t understand him. I believe if he never became famous, he would still be performing and maybe teaching music somewhere in this world. Music is a gift that will always beg you to do something with it whether you become famous or not. There are so many other artists who inspire me such as Maxwell. I’ve never heard a song from Maxwell that I didn’t like. He is amazing to me. Other artists who have inspired me are Little Richard, Lenny Kravitz, Teddy Riley, Rick James, Meshell Ndegeocello, Christopher Williams, Shanice, Chaka Khan, Diana Ross, Rhonda Ross, James Cleveland, Daryl Coley, Deitrick Haddon and many gospel artists. I would say many of the groups and artists who came out in the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s and early 1990s are inspirations.

Finally music helped save my life because

it gave me an outlet growing up. I could escape into the world of music when the world around me was unkind, unfair and miserable. I could emerge myself within the lyrics, beats, melodies and sounds. I could feel that someone other than my mother and God understood the depths of the unspoken words of my soul. When I couldn’t verbalize my deepest feelings, another artist did through song. This reminds us how connected we really are and could be if we only truly let love rule in our lives.